The episode where Joey teaches me the purpose of art

I’ve participated in more than thirty podcasts. There are a few messages I hope to leave the listener with. One is that I wrote a book; The Trimesters of Grief is a love letter to the next parent going through child loss. Or it's a soft blanket I throw over myself to remember how hard we tried.

One of the main messages of the book and what I try to convey in the podcasts is that -If someone you love is dealing with addiction, you’ve been forced into Russian Roulette and shame keeps the gun cocked.

Not one podcast has been the same. You get a feel for the host’s why soon enough. Some really care about the message. They ask questions that keep me journaling days after. For example, when I say, “Others have it worse,” is this guilt for taking up space? Or I’ve given grief a form and a name; would it help to do the same for addiction?

Some podcasts want to push their own book; others want to talk about their own experiences. Some are focused on their audience, others are trying to tap into a new audience. There have been times when a host will dive into a monologue that appears preplanned, and others that toss up an edgy title for our talk. Some titles play to the outrage, and I want to hide.

We’re all pushing something. Is my story any more or less kind than theirs?

In the middle of all my doubt about why I’m putting poems, a book, a short film, or any art into the universe, my youngest son called out of the blue. And if Joey had any idea I was wrestling with these questions, it wasn’t from me.

Joey said he needed to tell me a story.

This is a photo from Magic Mountain where everyone but Max and Joey have their eyes closed.

He told me about a music group in the 1990s called Panchiko who made an album that wasn’t embraced; the group disbanded and was forgotten. In 2016 someone found an old record of Panchiko and uploaded it to the internet. Panchiko became many people’s ‘new’ favorite band. So much so that the band reunited and is touring. Learn more about them here. And to listen to their music: here.