Does this need to exist?
“Do you think this book needs to exist?”
Mandy Len Catron got me thinking about what is worthy of existence in her Substack, The Loneliness Project
Do I think this book needs to exist?
Well, it could be shorter: first there was me, then you. A lot of stuff happened. And I was left holding all our love.
Why did I write The Trimesters of Grief?
Partially it was because I wanted to document the chaos. Also if I came out of it alive, then that felt worthy of a story. But mostly, I wanted others to know the secrets I learned. I wanted them to hear the truth bombs like when Lisa B told me, “Addicts come from families that love them.” I wanted to shout- “Addicts come from families that love them” with a bull horn on the street corner.
I carried a ton of guilt from Nicholas’s death. Even still, writing the d word makes my skin crawl. But I got to sit in front of a different Lisa B. at a grief retreat in Sweden and we looked into one another’s blue eyes for one full minute. I gave her a ton of that guilt. She is one of the only women I know who lived through the same hell as me, and still loves to ski.
Maybe I wrote it hoping to help those in addiction.
And yet, I don’t know how to get someone sober. But I do know how not to get someone sober. As Hunter Biden says, shame keeps people using. That is the most honest truth I know.
This week I had the gift of talking to Denver resident, Stephanie Bloom. She got me missing Washington Park and the beauty of the front range. Stephanie has a podcast that feels like free therapy. Details are below.
Walk with Me with Stephanie BloomSpotifyApplePodcastWalk with Me
